shadows

“I’m really open and honest. Please do ask me anything. I’m seriously available to questions and criticism. I love it! I grow and flourish when I get the opportunity. I’m so into curiosity and exploration. And growth. And self reflection”.

This was Linda. She was perched, bolt upright on an overly large black leather, distinctly uncomfortable armchair. It was snowing outside and her legs were still slightly chilly and she could feel the draft wrapping around her ankles. Linda was nervous and gabbling. She was being interviewed for an important and prestigious HR role in a well known publishing house — and she really wanted this job.

Linda was actually far from the ‘open book’ that she would like to think of herself as being. But right now she was deep into presenting her persona and was absentmindedly referencing all the socially acceptable norms and positive personality attributes that she had learnt were deemed desirable. She’d done such a great job, unconsciously, cutting off from all the not so desirable qualities and was on track for training herself to identify solely with those seen as ‘good’ and socially acceptable for a young women of her age at this moment in the 21st Century.

The trouble is the more Linda tried to split off, hide or push away from her angry, judgemental, controlling, dismissive, needy, rude, close minded shadows the more (as Jung predicted) they came back en force from the deep dark depths of her unconscious to lead her into all sorts of over compensating behaviours and increasingly elaborate coping mechanisms to defend against being ‘found out’ and therefore devoured by shame.

“May I ask you a question?” it was the interviewer now. There was a moments pause before Linda gracefully rose up out of the armchair, smiled serenely and walked silently out of the room and back onto the snowy streets. Surely her best defence thus far!